Spectrum Entertainment

A lot has been said about 2G Spectrum scam and lots of information as to the amount of money, the people involved, lobbying by corporates and advice from Law ministry has come in the media. One thing however is missing is the simple entertainment value that common people like me are looking for! Come on folks - when is the last time anyone has recovered 1 paisa back from a Politician. So like the nice happy ending of any 007 movie, our hero A.Raja will come out of this mess unhurt and clean and live happily ever after.
So given that people are not going to get anything back, why bother about the court, judgements etc. Let us look at some nice nuances of this whole thing and at least obtain some entertainment value.

First of all the amount is 1,76,000 crore, which if written down as a simple number it will look like as follows:

1760000000000

If Albert Einstein happened to be working for our CAG,  he would have written this as 1.76E+12 (or 1.76 x 10 to the power of 12). Our CAG obviously lacks such creativity. I would even go one step more and propose that any future scams should be measured with Spectrum as THE baseline. So tomorrow if some really useless and silly politician does a scam for 100 Crore, we will just simplify it and say 0.05% of Spectrum or go back to our old scams - Harshad Mehta who did a 4000 Crore Scandal will be measured as 2.2% of Spectrum.It kind of gives a nice goal to any budding politician. When they do their annual review they will be able to say something like - " I did a 1% Spectrum this year, my goal is to grow into 10% Spectrum in 3 Years".
Another important statistical point that the news media comfortably ignored, which gives a nice trivia point for us, the common people. If we take 1.76E+12 amount and start counting them as 100 Rupee Notes , it will take a very advanced money counting machine (Ribao JM-80 Basic Currency Counter Electric Bill Counting Machine) which counts 1500 Bills per minute, a good 22.3 Years to complete counting. If it is 1000 Rupee Notes then it will be at least 2.2 Years before it will complete. Now that explains why the CAG took this much time to complete its analysis on how much money is involved in this scam (Scam happened in 2007 and CAG report comes out in 2010).
Another nice trivia point that is hidden comfortably from the eyes of common people is that if you take 1.76E+12 and store them as 100 Rupee Notes, it will take 72,55,36,428 rooms to store it (each of standard size 10 ft x 12 ft x 9 ft). Again if they are 1000 Rupee Notes it will take 8,17,96,145 rooms - Just to imagine and visualize you are looking at 2,30,412 Rashtrapati Bhavans.
OK Now that Raja is done with his great achievements in Telecom Ministry, what are the top 10 things he can do in his spare time(now that he has a lot of it)
10. Just switch off the telephones and TV and start counting his dough. Will keep him busy for another 22 years.
9. Can go as a consultant for other ministers and explain them the nuances "When you hit it how to hit big".
8. Can become a financial adviser to other rich politicians on how to park large amounts of money in offshore accounts.
7. Start his own political party Raja Munnetra Kazhagam and buy all the votes in TamilNadu, Andhra, Kerala and Karnataka (and still be rich).
6. Buy a nice island country next to Brunei and crown himself as the king.
5. Buy another nearby island for Kanimozhi and crown her as the Queen.
4. Marry Kanimozhi and officially get into THE FAMILY and create another power center.
3. Buy a couple of states in the US and start selling 4G Spectrum there.
2. Advice Aravindan(erstwhile husband of Kanimozhi) on how to use a position of power to its full degree.
And finally the number one thing that A.Raja can be doing in his spare time is,
1. Write a book on how to get your leader's daughter to bed.