Life of a 3rd Umpire

I have been watching IPL matches quite a bit this season and a lot of run out decisions has been referred to the Third Umpire or the TV umpire these days.

A few things to be said about the 3rd Umpires in cricket (notoriously known as the TV Umpire) that is different from the TV Umpires of the other games like Tennis. In Tennis, there is a maximum limit of unsuccessful (3 per Player) appeals that can be made to the TV Umpire. Once the 3 attempts are done from each side, pretty much the TV Umpire can pack his bags and go watch the game in the Big Screen in his living room or come sit with the spectators in the Stadium and cheer for his guy or gal.

In cricket however, the agony of the 3rd Umpire is extended until the end of the match and not only that - if you look at the award ceremonies after the match the 3rd Umpire is conspicuously absent. This is one profession where you could comfortably work from home or better yet a sports bar, but still these 3rd Umpires are brought into the stadium and they have to sit and watch the whole match on TV despite being present on location.

Trying to understand the work performed by 3rd umpires is a very tricky proposition. A run out happens and the decision is referred to the 3rd Umpire and there are 5 to 6 slow motion shots of the run outs, sometimes even an ultra slow motion shot just to aid the decision. After all these are seen, pretty much everybody in the stadium - looking at the big screen - including the batsman and the millions of viewers at home will have a darn good clue about whether the player is out or not out. But still the batsman needs that button pushed from the 3rd Umpire to take a walk. And the bowling team has a similar scratching need to wait for the 'Not Out' to be displayed in the big screen to get back to their field positions.

The most crucial part of course is that, after the 5 or 6 slow motion replays are done, there is a solid wait for atleast 35-40 seconds before the Out/Not-Out comes up. I am extremely curious to understand what the Umpire is doing at that time. Possibly, one might think, how will the crowd react if I say Out for a clearly 'Not Out' case. Will there be a riot in the stadium - May be I should try that. This is the pinnacle of his profession. The 3rd Umpire probably feels the ultimate power of his position to create a law and order situation with a press of a button thrown at him at least a few times in a match. A wrong lbw call by the 1st or 2nd umpires is nothing compared to it. Typically this is the point of time where his whole family watching the match on TV will be praying to god that their husband/father/son pushes the correct button - of course after they all have already got the right decision in their mind.

Every profession at some juncture will have some criticality/emergency aspects to it. Whether it is a taxi driver, tax accountant, clerk at the post office or even the president of USA. At one point of time or another you can actually pick up the phone and call your spouse and tell them, "Sorry honey, I am not going to be able to make it for dinner tonight. I need to complete this work before which I can't possibly leave this place." The unfortunate thing about the 3rd Umpire is that there is no way he can claim this professional advantage. Five mins after the match is over, he would be attending the call telling him, "Can you pick up the kids on your way home and don't forget the milk again today? OK".

And for a given match-day, he could really try but I doubt that he can call in sick. I wonder how his boss will react to it when he sends a leave letter saying he wouldn't be able to make it for the day. Seriously man, any one of the thousand other guys coming into the stadium on that day can do his job and replace the poor guy in a shot. Think about this, 3rd Umpire travels to a new town and catches a cab - Cab driver asks, "So what do you do - my man?" - He answers, "I work as a 3rd Umpire"- Driver says, "See this is a job I can really do Man, Do they pay you good?".

How do they really pick a 3rd Umpire. I know that the 1st and 2nd have to pass exams and what not. They need international experience etc. 3rd Umpire Wanted can pretty much look like this

"Wanted - 3rd Umpires

1. College Degree (Well - not really - just kidding)

2. Should have ability to watch slow motion TV (including Ultra Slow run out cams)

3. Decision making capability within 35-40 secs to push one of two buttons (after the whole world has decided one way or another)

4. Should have enough resilience not to doze off when decisions are referred to them"

- and you will have a fair chance to get a guy who will never really mess up decisions (EVER! - Talk about Six Sigma people - this one is Six Sigma, CMM level 5 and ISO 9000 all guaranteed).

So, the year end review happens for a 3rd Umpire. The boss has apparently no chance of pointing out even a single error he has ever done. He can possibly pick on how he is dressed coming to the match, but that won't hold any water since he is never showed in TV anyway (despite being called the TV Umpire). However he also has to decide on his pay raise - now that is something - You get 3% raise this year because ............. after long reflection - that is what I feel like giving you this year.

So really why does the world have this sadistic need to keep these 3rd Umpires and their 2 little buttons in the mix and keep a poor guy in a state of persistent boredom and agony when everyone else is enjoying at the same time. Only time will provide us answers!